Guilt Trip: Mommy Business
Travel
Travel
By Teresa Kolvek
toddlerdish.com
toddlerdish.com
As a working mom, I am the queen of guilt. Every morning I
drop off my little girl at the day care center, where there is a
caring staff she has really bonded with. She seems happy
enough most days. She will reach for the teacher as soon
as she sees her, and contentedly watch as I say my
“Goodbye, baby, I love you!” and walk out the door. I keep
my voice cheerful and my demeanor upbeat, but my heart
always sinks into my shoes as the door shuts and I start on
my way to work.
Some days it’s worse. The regular teacher occasionally isn’
t there, and even though my daughter knows the others - in
fact sees them every day - she clings to me, digging in with
her knees and grabbing with her hands. I pry her off and
hand her over, struggling to keep a smile on my face as
she cries and screams, “Mommy, Mommy.” Oh, it’s tough.
Worse, though, are business trips. I don’t have to travel
very often, thank goodness, but when I do the guilt meter
goes off the chart. I’ll call my husband to check in, and I’ll
hear her in the background, talking and playing, and I just
want to cry. I want to talk to her on the phone, but she isn’t
quite old enough yet to understand the concept and would
only be upset. Then I will hear reports back, like when my
husband told me she woke in the middle of the night,
screaming for Mommy. Apparently she was inconsolable,
crying and refusing to calm down for Daddy.
I have to keep my job right now, since I’m the primary
breadwinner in the household. So, we have to make the
best of this. But how?
One thing that seems to help is talking with other working
moms. When I’m at an out-of-town meeting, there are
usually at least one or two other women there who can
relate to my situation. We tell stories about what our kids
are doing, share photos, and trade advice. Sometimes just
talking it out with someone who understands can really help
to ease your mind.
Another thing I’m doing is working with my employer to
minimize the overnight trips I’m required to take. I’ll offer
alternative suggestions, such as conference calls,
videoconferencing, or meetings online. I keep trips as
short as possible, and get direct flights whenever I can to
lessen travel time. Sometimes it’s an option to combine
separate trips into one: fly in, drive or fly to the second
destination, and fly out. I’ll also consider bringing the family
along, if the location is desirable, and turn the business trip
into a vacation.
I just got back from a four-day meeting, and when I saw my
daughter for the first time upon returning home, she looked
different to me; changed somehow. Her hair seemed
longer, which I know is impossible, and she had learned a
number of new words. It was only four days, but I feel like I’
ve missed so much!
While a working mom’s guilt is seemingly never-ending
(well, mine anyway), there are a few things that can ease
the pain a bit. And it’s all forgotten the moment I see my
bunny rabbit smile and throw herself into my arms.
drop off my little girl at the day care center, where there is a
caring staff she has really bonded with. She seems happy
enough most days. She will reach for the teacher as soon
as she sees her, and contentedly watch as I say my
“Goodbye, baby, I love you!” and walk out the door. I keep
my voice cheerful and my demeanor upbeat, but my heart
always sinks into my shoes as the door shuts and I start on
my way to work.
Some days it’s worse. The regular teacher occasionally isn’
t there, and even though my daughter knows the others - in
fact sees them every day - she clings to me, digging in with
her knees and grabbing with her hands. I pry her off and
hand her over, struggling to keep a smile on my face as
she cries and screams, “Mommy, Mommy.” Oh, it’s tough.
Worse, though, are business trips. I don’t have to travel
very often, thank goodness, but when I do the guilt meter
goes off the chart. I’ll call my husband to check in, and I’ll
hear her in the background, talking and playing, and I just
want to cry. I want to talk to her on the phone, but she isn’t
quite old enough yet to understand the concept and would
only be upset. Then I will hear reports back, like when my
husband told me she woke in the middle of the night,
screaming for Mommy. Apparently she was inconsolable,
crying and refusing to calm down for Daddy.
I have to keep my job right now, since I’m the primary
breadwinner in the household. So, we have to make the
best of this. But how?
One thing that seems to help is talking with other working
moms. When I’m at an out-of-town meeting, there are
usually at least one or two other women there who can
relate to my situation. We tell stories about what our kids
are doing, share photos, and trade advice. Sometimes just
talking it out with someone who understands can really help
to ease your mind.
Another thing I’m doing is working with my employer to
minimize the overnight trips I’m required to take. I’ll offer
alternative suggestions, such as conference calls,
videoconferencing, or meetings online. I keep trips as
short as possible, and get direct flights whenever I can to
lessen travel time. Sometimes it’s an option to combine
separate trips into one: fly in, drive or fly to the second
destination, and fly out. I’ll also consider bringing the family
along, if the location is desirable, and turn the business trip
into a vacation.
I just got back from a four-day meeting, and when I saw my
daughter for the first time upon returning home, she looked
different to me; changed somehow. Her hair seemed
longer, which I know is impossible, and she had learned a
number of new words. It was only four days, but I feel like I’
ve missed so much!
While a working mom’s guilt is seemingly never-ending
(well, mine anyway), there are a few things that can ease
the pain a bit. And it’s all forgotten the moment I see my
bunny rabbit smile and throw herself into my arms.
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About the Author
Teresa Kolvek and her husband, Tony, are the proud
parents of a beautiful and spirited toddler named Amelia.
Teresa Kolvek and her husband, Tony, are the proud
parents of a beautiful and spirited toddler named Amelia.
