By: Barbara Desmarais
So your four year old won’t eat anything but cheese and
crackers? Your six year old hates anything with a sauce on
it. Your eight year old won’t let his lips touch a vegetable if
his life depended on it. What do you do? You’re trying to be
a good parent and provide nutritious meals to your growing
children but it’s getting more and more challenging.
As a parenting coach I frequently get asked how to deal
with a picky eater. I first need to qualify my response and
say that I’m not a nutritionist or a dietician so my knowledge
of nutrition is based on only what I read in books and
magazine articles. Here in Canada we try to follow
“Canada's Food Guide”.
My approach to the problem of a picky eater is from the
perspective of an educator and coach. What I know is that
children find ways to exercise power and control and one of
the best ways is through food. I also know their tastes
change all the time so what they might love one week,
they'll refuse to eat the next week and what they once said
they hated, they’ll suddenly start to like. I’m also aware that
when we feel pressured to do anything, our natural
response is to resist and children are no different.
For the most part, my children were not what would be
described as “picky” when it came to food although my son
knew what he liked and when he found what he liked he
stuck to it. The only thing he wanted in his lunch kit while he
was in elementary school was a peanut butter and jam
sandwich. Except for once a week when I would put
alphabet spaghetti in a thermos for him, he ate peanut
butter and jam sandwiches everyday for lunch during
elementary school. That would be seven years! My
objective as a parent was to ensure that whatever I gave
him he ate as he absolutely had to have some nourishment
half way through the day. I made sure I packed juice that
was 100% juice rather than a fruit “beverage” or “drink” so
he got vitamins from the fruit and I baked a lot so he usually
had some kind of home-baking along with his juice and
sandwich. I tried to make things that had healthy
ingredients. He’s now seventeen and eats a variety of
foods; a lot of it he prepares himself. He gradually expands
his repertoire every few months. Last week he even made
himself a fruit salad to bring to work.
Parents usually find if they acquiesce and focus on what
their kids like to eat rather than what they won’t eat, they
eventually come around and begin to try new foods. If
getting your kids to eat certain foods becomes a constant
battle ground, you’ll find that almost always, they will win.
It's very difficult to force food through tightly sealed lips.
There are a variety of ways we can sneak nutrition into our
kids’ diet. I coached a mom once who was challenged by
her toddler’s picking eating so I asked her what he liked to
eat and together we came up with a list of different ways
she could offer his favorite foods. For example she told me
he loved to dip his food so we thought of all the things he
could dip. He also really liked yogurt so we decided we
could make yogurt a dip. We also thought why not let him
dip strips of chicken into a tomato sauce. I assured her that
his restricted palate was not going to be this way forever
and he was more likely to branch out with his food once she
relaxed about it. So what if he was eating the same things
everyday for several weeks or even months. It’s a way he
can control his world right now and the more she fought it,
the more likely he was going to resist.
What do you do when your kids get older and won’t eat
what’s put in front of them? You are not a short order cook
and if you decide you are, they will have you preparing
special order food every night. Once you've tried your best
to prepare something most of the family enjoys, that’s all
you can do. Teach your picky eater how to prepare simple
meals and let her make her own dinner as well as clean up
after herself if she doesn't like what you've prepared.
crackers? Your six year old hates anything with a sauce on
it. Your eight year old won’t let his lips touch a vegetable if
his life depended on it. What do you do? You’re trying to be
a good parent and provide nutritious meals to your growing
children but it’s getting more and more challenging.
As a parenting coach I frequently get asked how to deal
with a picky eater. I first need to qualify my response and
say that I’m not a nutritionist or a dietician so my knowledge
of nutrition is based on only what I read in books and
magazine articles. Here in Canada we try to follow
“Canada's Food Guide”.
My approach to the problem of a picky eater is from the
perspective of an educator and coach. What I know is that
children find ways to exercise power and control and one of
the best ways is through food. I also know their tastes
change all the time so what they might love one week,
they'll refuse to eat the next week and what they once said
they hated, they’ll suddenly start to like. I’m also aware that
when we feel pressured to do anything, our natural
response is to resist and children are no different.
For the most part, my children were not what would be
described as “picky” when it came to food although my son
knew what he liked and when he found what he liked he
stuck to it. The only thing he wanted in his lunch kit while he
was in elementary school was a peanut butter and jam
sandwich. Except for once a week when I would put
alphabet spaghetti in a thermos for him, he ate peanut
butter and jam sandwiches everyday for lunch during
elementary school. That would be seven years! My
objective as a parent was to ensure that whatever I gave
him he ate as he absolutely had to have some nourishment
half way through the day. I made sure I packed juice that
was 100% juice rather than a fruit “beverage” or “drink” so
he got vitamins from the fruit and I baked a lot so he usually
had some kind of home-baking along with his juice and
sandwich. I tried to make things that had healthy
ingredients. He’s now seventeen and eats a variety of
foods; a lot of it he prepares himself. He gradually expands
his repertoire every few months. Last week he even made
himself a fruit salad to bring to work.
Parents usually find if they acquiesce and focus on what
their kids like to eat rather than what they won’t eat, they
eventually come around and begin to try new foods. If
getting your kids to eat certain foods becomes a constant
battle ground, you’ll find that almost always, they will win.
It's very difficult to force food through tightly sealed lips.
There are a variety of ways we can sneak nutrition into our
kids’ diet. I coached a mom once who was challenged by
her toddler’s picking eating so I asked her what he liked to
eat and together we came up with a list of different ways
she could offer his favorite foods. For example she told me
he loved to dip his food so we thought of all the things he
could dip. He also really liked yogurt so we decided we
could make yogurt a dip. We also thought why not let him
dip strips of chicken into a tomato sauce. I assured her that
his restricted palate was not going to be this way forever
and he was more likely to branch out with his food once she
relaxed about it. So what if he was eating the same things
everyday for several weeks or even months. It’s a way he
can control his world right now and the more she fought it,
the more likely he was going to resist.
What do you do when your kids get older and won’t eat
what’s put in front of them? You are not a short order cook
and if you decide you are, they will have you preparing
special order food every night. Once you've tried your best
to prepare something most of the family enjoys, that’s all
you can do. Teach your picky eater how to prepare simple
meals and let her make her own dinner as well as clean up
after herself if she doesn't like what you've prepared.
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Article Source: www.ladypens.com
Barbara Desmarais is a Parenting and Life Coach and
mother to two teenagers. She is the author of "Raise Your
Children But Not Your Voice" and has recently published
an eCourse called "Your Child's Self-Esteem" Visit her
website at www.theparentingcoach.com. Email
barb@theparentingcoach.com.
Barbara Desmarais is a Parenting and Life Coach and
mother to two teenagers. She is the author of "Raise Your
Children But Not Your Voice" and has recently published
an eCourse called "Your Child's Self-Esteem" Visit her
website at www.theparentingcoach.com. Email
barb@theparentingcoach.com.
How Do I Deal With My Picky
Eater?
Eater?